I’m happy to meet you here at the Rave Reviews Book Club’s BACK-TO-SCHOOL BOOK & BLOG BLOCK PARTY
This happening month-long party gives you, the guest, a chance to rub shoulders with great authors, hang out with interesting fictional characters, win fabulous prizes, and invite everyone you know to join the fun!
CONGRATULATIONS TO MY PRIZE WINNERS:
Marc Estes, Beem Weeks, and Harmony Kent
Prize #1: A $15 Amazon Gift Card
Prize #2: An e-version of Christian Sex and Marriage-It’s Complicated
Prize #3: An e-version of your choice of any of my novels
All you have to do to enter is read this blog and comment before midnight, September 17 CST.
Welcome to my Rave Reviews Book Club Back-To-School Book and Blog Party! Since I just finished a book about sex and marriage, I thought it would be fun to discuss those topics today. At 3 am one dark and foggy night, I realized many of you might not enjoy such a personal conversation at a public party. At 3 pm on a sunny afternoon, I decided sex is always a fun topic no matter where you are.
This is how I decided to satisfy both my 3 o’clock brainstorms: In the first short blog, I’ll share the trials and joys of writing in multiple genres. You can read that, skip the sex, and comment below. Or, you can skip the genre talk, devour the one about sex, and comment below. Or you can have extra fun by reading both and, of course, commenting below. Take your pick, and as long as you comment, you will be entered into the great RRBC give-aways!
The Multiple Genre Nightmare
I recently received a one-star rating on Amazon for my debut novel, Into Dark Waters. The review said:
“Much too graphic for my taste. I thought since it was billed as a Christian novel, it would be more a who-done-it than a shock-and-Gore.”
I did not ever bill this as a Christian novel-though it isn’t anti-Christian and pretty squeaky clean in the sexual sense. It is dark and disturbing at parts.
But since I also write to a Christian audience (Diary of a Christian Woman-How I Used 50 Shades of Grey To Spice Up My Marriage and Christian Sex and Marriage-It’s Complicated), it’s expected that all my books would appeal to that genre’s readers.
Marketing for multiple genres means multiplying your time and finances, and maybe changing you pen name. It is such a nightmare, that if I only cared about sales, I would choose one style and stick to it.
As much as I love selling my books, I write because I have to tell the story that’s running around in my head. I can feel my characters fighting to escape. I hear their screams and am haunted by their whispers. Sometimes, their story is funny. Other times, it’s dark and mysterious. Once, as with The Geek Club, the story appealed to kids rather than adults. The bottom line is that the story belongs to the characters. And many, many characters inhabit my brain, each with their varied and crazy journeys. It’s not my fault I can’t market all of them to the same people.
Money isn’t everything. Neither are reviews.
Right now, I feel the stomping of characters’ footsteps—characters that want me to tell their stories in sequels to Haunting Megan and Diary of a Christian Woman. Next week, I’ll sit down and begin to put on paper the story of the character that stomps the loudest.
As for my non-fiction–people asked me to write it, so I did. It’s excellent. I’m proud of it and what it has to offer. But now that it’s done, I’m looking forward to letting the imaginary people out of my head so they can lead me on their adventurous escapades.
Now…If you want to skip the sex, drop down to comment bellow!
Sex Education-That Awkward Class We Thought Would Be An Easy “A”
This blog post is appropriate for those 18 and older
I remember very little about my high school sex-education class. There was something about a condom and a cucumber, vivid descriptions of venereal diseases, and the class clown who made us laugh and the teacher cry. I’m pretty sure we never spoke of the bond between emotional and physical intimacy nor the pain that rips apart souls when that intimacy is damaged.
In our world, sex is supposed to be simple, like fitting together pieces of a puzzle—an easy “A”. That is not reality. In a nationwide survey, the vast majority of men and women gave their physical marital intimacy a failing grade.
I wrote Christian Sex and Marriage-It’s Complicated for couples that want their sex lives to be worthy of a grade higher than the average “C”. I wrote it to give relationships practical tools and ideas to move their emotional and physical intimacy to Honor Roll status.
This book has Christian in the title. That does not mean that only Christians will benefit by what is found inside. The early chapters deal with issues faced by those raised in a culture of repression often found in churches. It is my belief that people of faith should have free, joyful, celebratory marital sex lives. After all, we follow the God who created our bodies with all the hormones, nerve endings, and g-spots for our enjoyment. The Bible we read has an entire book dedicated to physical expression of love. One goal of Christian Sex and Marriage-It’s Complicated is to help people accept their own sexuality as a gift from God, given to them to enjoy with their spouse.
Second, scripture illustrates how sexual intimacy and emotional intimacy are bound together. I want the reader to know that along with hundreds of interviews, surveys, and current research, this book will use the Bible to show us ways to deepen our love and help us find freedom in sexual expression.
Every chapter in Christian Sex and Marriage-It’s Complicated begins with testimonies from people who share their struggles, fears, failures, and successes. Here are some of those stories:
For a long time, years and years, I didn’t think he cared. I could see him zone out when I talked about my feelings. His eyes would just drift away. When I told him I was leaving him, he just stood there. He didn’t say anything, so I thought he wanted me to go.
I don’t know what to do. I try to be romantic and add more cuddling or foreplay, and my wife seems irritated like she doesn’t have time for that. Then, when I skip straight to sex, she gets mad because I didn’t seduce her. I can’t win.
Every time he touches me it means sex. Sometimes I wish he’d just hold me because he wants to hold me.
I know he loves me. I’ve never doubted it in thirty plus years of marriage. He holds my hand, rubs my shoulders, just reaches out and touches me when he can. That says more to me than words.
I don’t want him to touch me in public. It feels like a show, because he doesn’t touch me at home. I cringe when he touches me.
Romance is sensual—I mean it involves all the senses. Sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell all play a part. If something is off, the mood is off. It’s worth setting the scene. My husband is good at that. It’s one thing I really love about him.
When we first got married, he’d bring me meaningless little gifts. He gave me dishtowels once. I remember thinking, “Gee, thanks! If you actually used these to help me they’d mean something!”
I could feel Grace, my wife, pulling away from me. I tried to talk to her, find out what I’d done to make her treat me like that. Finally, my mother-in-law told me Grace didn’t think I loved her. I TOLD her I loved her every stinking day! She had to have her mother tell me she felt unloved?
I start my day taking care of my aging parents, then it’s get the kids to school, go to work, pick up kids, pick up dinner, and collapse on the sofa. I don’t have the energy to brush my teeth, much less have sex before I fall into bed.
I imagined a near-every-night scenario for sex. But life kind of takes over. Everything is good, but by the end of the day, neither of us want to do anything under the covers but sleep.
My husband doesn’t want me as much as I want him. It hurts. I feel like I’m lacking something. He’s a man. He’s supposed to want sex. Why does he turn away from me?
She’s always too busy, too tired, or she has a headache. We shouldn’t fight about sex, but when we aren’t having any, my frustration rises and I get angry faster.
If I could go back to the day before I failed my wife (had an affair), I would choose death over the hell I brought to my family.
His work was more important than I was.
You can find out more about Christian Sex and Marriage-It’s Complicated at http://rebeccareilly.net/?page_id=530
Amazon 5 Star Review:
“Rebecca has a message to share that will help marriages, young and old. She isn’t afraid to tackle tough topics in this book and I’m impressed at how she was able to incorporate both humor and gut wrenching interviews throughout. Applicable to those with and without faith, I think anyone who’s been married for any length of time would find this insightful and helpful. For those of you who enjoyed her hilarious fiction book “Diary of a Christian Woman: How I Used 50 Shades of Gray To Spice Up My Marriage” from 2013 I know you’ll appreciate this book as well.”
Amazon Paperback: http://bit.ly/SexMarriagePB
Amazon Kindle: http://bit.ly/sexamarriage
Barnes and Noble: http://bit.ly/sexBN
Please comment below to enter to win! I’d love to hear your thoughts…and if you have any memories of high school sex-ed, pass them on and give us a laugh (or a cringe)!
I’ll see you at the next stop of the #RRBC BOOK and BLOG BLOCK PARTY! http://wp.me/P49Fi9-2y5